SUNDAY #67 – Carousel


Life, you bastard.

You’re just a carousel; a dodgy, really bloody beautiful, alluring carousel.

Those phony ponies with the swirly golden poles running through them are fooling no-one. Nothing that sturdy and glittery can be trusted.

I promise I haven’t gone mad, I genuinely just spent a lot of time on a carousel at a family wedding this week, and it’s left my head in a spin. Well, that, and the obscene amount of vodka I consumed at my friend’s birthday celebrations last night.

I feel like I’m going round and round in circles. It’s not always a bad thing. I mean, it’s great when you’re wearing your finest, sitting side-by-side with your sisters, and laughing like school kids going round on an actual carousel. I can’t knock that.

It’s just not so great when you keep waking up on a Sunday feeling the same sense of…unease. I blame it largely on the booze, but it’s something else. The merry-go-round of memories spins uneasily before my eyes, and it’s all a bit selfish and torturous.

I mean, are you funny, or are you just a joke?

Does it really matter?

Did you really just spend 200 words trying to figure that out?

Did you honestly post that on the internet?

Do you think that’s going to help soothe your feeling of ‘unease’?

And why are you still drinking? That’s not going to help, even if it is a ‘hair of the dog’.

Have you learned anything in the last few minutes? You’re so juvenile.

I mean, it’s almost like you still rely on Blink 182 to get you out of minor emotional turmoil?

And is it true you fancied Tom Delonge more than any man on earth when you were 16?

Jeez…no wonder you still feel ‘uneasy’.

STOP IT. STOP IT NOW. Go back to bed. Chances are, you’ll be fine tomorrow.

(And you bloody love carousels anyway, why are you whinging?)

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