MONDAY #1 – What I Learned From Watching The E! Channel, 30 Hours a Week, For 2 Months

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For the last 34 Sundays in a row, I have written a post for this site. Granted, the posts have not always been literary gold – but I’ve kept this solid commitment, and I feel terrible that I missed what should have been my 35th post yesterday.

Unfortunately, I was away from the computer for most of the day (and I was asleep. Top Tip: I was hung-over). I then spent the evening in emotional turmoil with my friends watching the final episode of This Is England ’90. If you’re wondering how this might have affected my ability to write; you clearly have no idea how devastating Shane Meadow’s work is.

I had planned to talk about my recent job as a channel monitor watching the E! Entertainment Channel. It was the most surreal, and oddly enjoyable job I’ve held to this date. I try to avoid watching any kind of reality TV because I heard a rumour (probably on E! News) that it splits your soul in half, but I was being paid to watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians and other such programmes for 30 hours a week. Only a fool would turn that opportunity down.

Unbelievably, I grew to really quite like The Kardashians (I’m as shocked as you are), but there were some programmes which really made the job….difficult. Ultimately, I learned a lot from my time as an E! Entertainment channel monitor, and I’d like to share my knowledge with you now:

1. I Am Cait was an amazing platform for unknown trans women to talk about transgender issues, and Caitlyn’s transition nearly made me cry at my desk on multiple occasions.

2. Kendall Jenner is an absolute sweetheart, and one of the most naturally beautiful people I’ve ever seen.

3. Khloé is my favourite Kardashian, a hilarious person, and the best aunt in the world (see this list for further proof of her greatness)

4. Paige from WWE Divas is a porcelain predator.

5. E! News should be re-named ‘This is E! News and we have sensationalised everything to the point of fiction, but will be selling it to you as stone cold fact for the next 60 minutes’

6. There is such a thing as a ‘Revenge Bod’, and Kourtney Kardashian apparently has the most ‘smokin’ example of one right now…

 7. Hollywood encourages both hatred of the self and hatred of others. Whether it was ‘disguised’ as comedy on a vicious episode of Fashion Police, or as an article on E! News about a celebrities weight/status/sexuality/relationship – Hollywood seems to rely on playing on people’s anxieties in order to thrive.

8. Most importantly – none of this really matters – turn off your TV, go outside and get some Vitamin D. Reserve E! for hung-over Sundays, employment opportunities, and Kardashian catch-ups.

(Image courtesy of: http://weheartit.com/entry/121472793)

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